I’m inaugurating this new blog with a flick I just found called 1313: UFO Invasion.
ADAM is a graduate student in theoretical astronomy and working on his dissertation. He’s always been interested in what’s ‘out there’ and he finds a perfect opportunity to both work and play…..in Roswell, New Mexico.
PREVIEW: That’s the description from the actual website because the dramatic play of ellipses make the fact that the city is Roswell seem strangely foreshadowing. Ooh. I wonder if this movie is possibly about aliens? Who knows? It’s a mystery. The cover just shows all these attractive no-name male actors. I wonder what this movie is about!
FINAL NAILS: Wow. The plot was…was there a plot? Honestly this movie was too bad to even be ironically bad. Even John Egbert couldn’t have liked this movie. 84 minutes of men in underpants getting tied to beds? There was nothing redeeming about this movie unless you enjoy thin dialogue, no plot, no cocks, and too many abs. The syringes play Star Wars sound bytes. The twinks have splash fights. The entire plot took place over the span of an afternoon. The villain was just… depressing.
On a scale of One to The Eagle? This movie was a used paper plate.